Bud Light Straw-ber-ita is a thing that now exists.

Bud Light Straw-ber-ita is a thing that now exists. It combines all the goodness of Bud Light Lime and margarita mix flavoring. Bud Light Lime wasn’t vile enough?? It sounds to me like the ultimate anti-beer. Like, if a can of this lipgloss-scented statutoryrapetail was placed on the same bar as an actual honestly crafted beer, a weird force field would develop with its own gravitational pull that destroys all authentic flavor and personal integrity for miles around. Alone, it easily repels anyone with a surviving taste bud. Therefore, I hope it is only ever available in insulated packs at retail locations that also sell gas and beef jerky. And I certainly expect that the target market (and you know this … “product” has been heavily focus-tested) enjoys rhinestone-embedded gel nails, high-pitched giggle-squeals, recreational tanning, and waking up while wondering what happened.

Ugh. What WON’T people eat and drink in this country!?!


About amywinns

Semi-snarky, semi-sincere, occasionally ranting, always paying attention. Feminist who can work a skirt and crack a joke. Grammar nerd who is also fun at parties. Mid-career writer/editor with 15 years’ experience in newspapers & magazines who now helps developers at a major media corporation communicate with the suits who write the checks. Pro-women, pro-family, pro-choice, pro-workingclass, pro-entrepreneur, pro-farmer. Like every other bourgeois Brooklynite, I choose local/organic/raw food — mostly vegetables — whenever possible/reasonable/affordable but I’m not a smug asshole about it. Hometown: Atlanta. Weird hobby: lindy hop. No pets, no kids, no thanks.
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